i know that feel,well my version of it. Promise to see you soon. <3
Having the TIAs hit more regularly, more frequently, I’m actually really scared. and the news about my BP not just spiking, but spiking higher than they thought it ever would… I SHOULD be having a full-blown stroke at any time. And this week has been full of hard choices, and now I don’t want to think anymore. I just want a few days that I can be HAPPY, and not worry about my world exploding.
I wish, i just wish there was something i could do to make you like more happy and just no this -hand gestures-. and make this all go away and stop. I mean I’m scared for you too. You’re one of my most favorite people ever.
I’m bogged down. Between some seriously conflicting emotions, concerns over my life and living situation, being in a place where I’m totally sinking, financially… I don’t know what to do. And sure, putting this out there publicly is probably a shit idea, but I don’t even care anymore. I’m trying to keep perspective, and it’s getting harder and harder each day.
I hurt. I’m tired of hurting. Like I said, I just want a few days to be HAPPY. To be stress-free, or at least MOSTLY stress-free.
And you are one of my most favorite people, too, J. Always. :)